The holiday season reminds me of being a child anxiously awaiting what gifts Santa would bring.  Like many children, I would find myself joyously walking through Toys R Us or Kaybee Toy Store imagining holding or playing with all the toys in the stores at my home on Christmas Day. 

The issue back then was there were very few dolls that looked like me.  Barbies had not evolved in a way we see today. So representation and being able to see yourself in a toy that you played with was very hard to come by if you were a kid of color.  

I remember very clearly when I received my first doll that looked like me.  She was handmade.  Her hair was yarn.  Her skin was dark and made of dyed fabric but I thought, finally I have a doll that looks like me.   

Today, many children have the ability to own dolls and toys that look like and represent them; although, diverse body types are still lacking. The toy industry has made huge strides when it comes to representation.  If only children’s books would evolve too. 

I did not know there was a need for children to read about themselves and their families until I had a child of my own.  My child can own any doll that looks like her.  She can own a doll that represents her style, future occupation, and sexual orientation.  She has a vast selection to choose from.  However, when it comes to what she reads, there is still a void that needs to be filled. 

I aim to fill some of that void.  It breaks your heart when your child asks you why they do not see their family in the books you are reading.  I was once told that children’s books are made to fill children with wonder.  Whereas I agree that some children’s books provide that sense of emotion, I disagree that the sole purpose of children’s books is to allow a child’s imagination to wonder.  I believe that many children want to see what is possible in their life.  I believe that many parents want their children to see themselves in the material they read.  

Families are vast and different. Children need to see their family in the stories they read.  Children also need to build empathy and acceptance at an early age.  I am not writing just so our children can see themselves, but so that other children know about our children’s lives; more specifically our families.  

My child is old enough for play dates. When children ask if they can have a playdate with my child there is always the question of if I am my child’s dad or mom.  I get it.  They have a dad and a mom so naturally even though we are two moms, I being the more masculine dressed, am peppered with the question of “am I the dad.”

I of course say “no, I am Ma.”  Many times that is enough, but sometimes they ask my child follow up questions.  For my child it is normal. “I have a Mommy and a Ma.”  With every day that passes I know that the questions will get harder and disappointment may come due to our family structure.  

Many times our children’s first instances of these harder questions come when they are trying to make friends, or the school has a Daddy and Me dance that my child will never be able to attend.  However, many other children are not able to attend this dance because daddy is not around.  The same is true for a Mommy and me brunch.  Many times grandma or another family relative takes care of the child.  When the name of these events remain exclusive with the option to bring a family member not mentioned in the name – our children and families become asterisks or other.

Where are they in their books? My mission is not just about LGBTQIA families but many families that do not fit the normative model.  Families are built on love.  Families are sustained on love.  Families grow due to love.  Families are not about DNA.  The LGBTQIA community knows all too well that your given family is not always who ends up being your chosen family.

This holiday season choose love, choose representation, choose your family. 

You can purchase the first book in my collection, “Ma, Where’s Mommy?” as an E-Book on Amazon, today.