The days leading into the New Year are always the most fun. The sounds of Christmas are still present. Though the screams of children getting new toys or clothes have subsided, new screams of laughter, joy, and the eating of leftover desserts still ring loud and clear.  Some people are out shopping, taking advantage of the after-Christmas sales or year-end sales events. The overcrowding of stores with return lines is as long as a Disney theme park ride without the fast pass. People still have the joy of holiday cheer.  

As much fun as the New Year was, it always confused me as a child. My confusion wasn’t derived from the celebration of the new year. Let’s be clear, I was able to stay up and count down with my parents. I drank sparkling apple juice or cider, completely unaware of the significance of the ritual. The following day after the cheers and celebration subsided, we had a tradition. No matter what else was on the menu, black-eyed peas must be eaten so the rest of the year you would have good luck. It was not until I got married that I realized it was not just black-eyed peas. My wife believes you must eat black-eyed peas for luck and collard greens for money. So now my child believes they must eat at least a spoon full of black-eyed peas for luck and a spoon full of greens for money. 

Even at such a young age, they know the value of money. Every penny they see or earn, they put it into a piggy bank. I know my child knows what they have and the value of it because when we go to the store and they want something, I always ask, “where is your money” and they say, “I have some, but not for that.”  Imagine a child standing firm on what they earn and their goals even at a young age. That is how I believe a child thinks about the New Year. We, as adults, have seen areas in our lives that could be improved on, shaken up, or erased. This is why we, as adults, manifest New Year resolutions. We want to be better for ourselves and others. The New Year allows us to start from scratch.  

In my limited time as a parent, I discovered that our young children, unless manifested in a household, do not have New Year resolutions. What is a new version of a child? I watched all the children in my family interact this holiday season. Some were meeting for the first time, while others have known each other since birth. Some remember the zoom playdates, while others remember how difficult it was to schedule playdates due to Covid. However, none of them had, knew, or thought about a New Year resolution. I realized why the concept of the New Year confused me. It was not the new year itself, it was the adults and the concept of a resolution. I could not understand how a person could change themselves, let alone me or another kid. Looking at the children in my life I thought, what a time in your life. A time where you do not need or consider a reset. A time without the stress of a job, partners, relationships, and how you show up in the world. A time when you’re unbothered by school quickly approaching, how to make friends, and how you show up for and to those friends. Kids want to be the same person New Year’s Day as they were before the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve. 

Somewhere along the line, kids lose or are forced out of the headspace of just being or existing as themselves. Many call it innocence, I call it a state of true self-acceptance. Watching your child excitedly scream “Happy New Year” with the same energy they scream “Happy Halloween,” “Happy Birthday,” “Happy 4th of July,” “Happy Valentine’s Day,” “Happy Mother’s Day,” “Happy Father’s Day,” and Happy “no school today” is nothing short of amazing. We should want our children to continue to enter the New Year with the same joy and confidence they ended it for as long as possible. Our children will organically change as life forces them to evolve, but in the meantime, fostering them to be their joyous selves in whatever form they want to show up in is priceless. 

In my book “Ma, Where’s Mommy?” a baby grows and matures in two different settings. Throughout those settings, she maintains who she is no matter which parent she is cared by during the day. We want our children to be themselves. We hope they reach sights we cannot see authentically, and be happy while doing it. 

Wishing all the “resolution-free” children the happiest of New Year, being their joyous and whole selves.